Self Acceptance

Self Acceptance is not based on performance.

Whew! There I have said it.

In fact, I don't really like the phrase "self acceptance". It starts out with the wrong premise so it cannot end up with a right conclusion. It assumes others like us because we are likable. If we are not liked, it must be our fault. So, if I try a little hard, I will be liked more. The truth is this notion is false. How many guys and girls suffer in silence, hoping someone will love them? They may think they are not popular enough, handsome/beautiful enough, athletic enough to be loved (accepted) by those passing them in the halls, when, in reality, the ones passing them in the halls are wondering the exact same thing! If you do "fit in" to some group... you had better not mistep or you will be outside looking in. Hoping to be popular, they dress like those they want to be accepted by. If they are not beautiful enogh, there is always cosmectic surgery. Not athletic enough, well, develop another talent in order to compensate... like learning a musical instrument. The cycle is endless and doesn't get you the results you want. It is like always shooting at a moving target.

Most "Self Acceptance" really isn't. We tend to perceive ourselves through the eyes of others. And that isn't even really true. We tend to perceive ourselves by how we perceive the others see us. Ouch!

Consider the following as sources for a "correct" view of ourselves:
1. Others view of me. Of course, we like others to like us, so this may seem to be a good barometer of our "likablility". However, it put us at the mercy of many elements.
a. They have their own motives for their actions and reactions towards us. These are not pure, but influenced by their own sin nature. Sin colors everything they do and say. One of the chief ingredients of sin is "me first". When push comes to shove, we will always come out second best. Guess what that does to our self worth?
b. They really don't know us, yet we rely on them to accurately assess our total worth. Yeah, like that is going to happen. I venture to say that even our closest friend or our spouse does not know the depths of our passions..., the extent of our knowledge..., the breadth of our interests..., the totally of our sufferings... (well, you get the picture). How in the world are they going to give us a true picture of our worth.
c. Their mission in life is not our best interests. Their life is full of them. Think about it. Is your number one aim of life is to make those around you experience the best of life? If not, why do we expect the something different of others?
d. If they happen to complement us, that is only good for a fleeting moment. Performance demands they we continue to excel in order to contuinue to get the good reviews. Like a juggler, we are bound to drop the ball eventually.
e. They may not speak the truth. They may complement you when you do not deserve it and withhold praise whne you could have received it.
Not much hope here for a good source for self accentance.
2. My view of me. This source is fraught with many of the same dangers as those mentioned above.
a. What side of the bed did you wake up on today? How was you sleep last night? How did the kids sleep last night? What kind of pressures are you under now? Is the day clear and bright or cloudy and dark? Are you sick or healthy? All of these factors influence our thinking on any given day. Are they true factors in our self worth? I don't think so... but they sure do color how we think about ourselves, don't they?
b. Have you ever noticed how much we excuse and accuse ourselves? We can be our harshest critic one moment for failure in some minor area of life and then let critical areas of life slide and rapidly make excuses why we did. This sliding scale of value becomes an inadequate tool to evaluate our self worth.
3. The true source for a true picture of my worth. God. You knew I was going to write that, didn't you?! Let us consider the factors as to why this is true.
a. He know me best. The Bible says that the heart is desperately wicked, who can know it? We have a hard time discerning motives, even in ourselves. God has no such problem. He knows me, warts and all. The miraclous thing is that my sin does not cause Him to turn away. My strengths and weaknesses do not factor into His acceptance of me.
b. He loves me most. We have never known anyone who was so concerned about our well being. Others have divided loyalties, He does not. Because He is God, He gives us all the same undivided attention. He does not have to make sure that when He focuses on us He is not slighting Himself. We can be sometimes self destrctive, but He always desires for us the best. While He wants the best for us, He does not wait for us to change before Him loves us.
c. He always speaks the truth. He does not whitewash my sin and failures. He also not not neglect to tell us where we stand with Him. We are not left to guess.
d. He does not change. This standard is not dependent on the weather, my attitude, sleep levels or the like. He is consistent.

So, if God is the best source of information in knowing our worth, shouldn't we be less concerned with self worth/acceptance and more concern with God's acceptance? yes.

If we are unbelievers, we stand condemned under the wrath of God. This is true. However, it is also true that God loved us and provided us a savior, His son, Jesus Christ. We thus can believe what God says about us and should act on it, humbly confessing our sin and accepting His forgiveness.

If we are believers, we stand as new creatures in Christ before Him. There is no longer any condemnation. Will we fail to live up to the nature of this new life? yes. But He does not abandon us due to failure, but loving seeks us out for restoration of fellowship. As believers, we are called to live a life of faith. The question is, do we really believe what our Heavenly Father says about us or not?